Skydive!
13 December 2013
The breeze is warm and dry. Typical Californian weather. Perfect blue sky not a cloud in sight. The sail cloth flaps loosely in the breeze above me. Ordinarily I’d be thinking about how I could fix this problem but I’m too nervous.
I’m sitting in a the waiting area having forked over two hundred bucks to jump out of a perfectly good aeroplane. This sounds slightly crazy because it is. Just minutes earlier I’d signed my life away. Five A4 pages of double sided legal disclaimers. “If you have any questions speak to your lawyer”. Yeah like I brought my lawyer with me to America. After everything was signed, I then had to read a disclaimer while looking into a video camera. I figure if I die it won’t be me suing them anyway.
Across from where I’m sitting there’s huge bar. The area is surrounded by camper trailers. It occurs to me that here is the ideal place to get drunk after a hard days diving before crawling back to your van.
Most of the people here are young … apart from the geriatric freestyle skydiving team rehearsing their moves. A mix of people. A few accents. Behind me are some egos. Cool clothes wearing baseball caps. They look like the extreme sport guys you see on TV and exude confidence. Just nearby some young French guys converse in sexy dulcet tones drawing heavily on cigarettes. Another guy meticulously packs his parachute. He is fit and tanned. Just behind me a group lying on what look like skateboards practicing free falling. It looks silly.
A shadow falls over the assembly area and all eyes are drawn upwards. One guy comes over low and fast seeming to skim the tops of the trees. He makes a perfect landing. It looks dangerous. If I wasn’t scared after watching all the videos and signing the disclaimers I am now. I visualise what it would be like to do this myself. A lump comes to my throat.
Mike is my instructor. He’s American, short and stocky in build, served in the Army. The kind of guy who inspires confidence. He explains he's jumped about 14,000 times. My mind starts to do the the calculations on that. How many years how many jumps per day. In the end I give up. I’m too nervous.
There’s another guy sitting beside me, we get chatting. Aaron is from the area and he’s decided to do a jump while waiting for his car to be serviced. One way to kill some time I guess. He seems distracted and I can see he’s eying off one of the female instructors.
We suit up and the call comes through to walk to staging area. I climb the stairs into the plane hot exhaust from the engine whooshes into my face. It’s hot and smells like a combination of aviation fuel and burnt metal. Inside the aircraft is Spartan, even the oldest Metro bus in Hobart seems positively luxurious by comparison.
The pilot doesn’t waste anytime and takes off immediately. The aircraft climbing steeply. I watch the altimeter strapped to my wrist. 1000 feet 2000, 3000. Mike leans over to me shouting over the engine noise. “ten minutes till we jump!”. I’m still very nervous.
With five minutes to go we clip up. I try to relax. Mike does everything up so tight I can feel each breath he takes. We edge down the grey benches down toward the back of the plane. We get to the door and I resolve to look at the horizon and not at the 12,000 foot drop. To be honest I'm pretty scared. He counts to three. I close my eyes and we’re falling.
I open my mouth to scream but the shear force of air pushes any scream I had back into my gut. My mouth is instantly dry and my cheeks ripple in the wind. I close my mouth quickly. The fall itself is frenetic. My brain is overloaded with a thousand sensations at once. It’s hard to think clearly, everything happens so fast. Mike yells something in my ear and I manage to smile and wave to my camera guy. I give the thumbs up.
Mike again yells in my ear that he’s going to open the chute. For the second time I close my eyes. The chute opens bringing our 180km/h free fall to an end. The harness violently tightens across my body. It feels like my arms and legs are going to be ripped off.
I open my eyes and everything is eerily quiet and totally still. The contrast to the frantic free fall just moments earlier couldn’t be greater. I look down and we’re very very high up. It feels a bit like looking out the window of a plane but without the plane part.
We glide and loop downwards toward the landing area. It’s not a bad sensation which only starts to get scary as we near the bottom of the decent. Trees and roof-tops loom just a little too close for comfort. We zoom over the top, landing smoothly.
Post jump I’m sitting once again in the bar area gradually removing my jump suit. Aaron rolls up to the female instructor with a post jump confidence high. I can just overhear their conversation. He asks her on a date. She says no. It’s absorbingly awkward. I’ve got my value for money. So much more entertaining than just a jump.
tags pictures, shameless self promotion, travel
Does blogger even still work?
09 January 2010
And more importantly does anyone read this blog?
tags blog, shameless self promotion
The best problem in the world to have?
26 June 2009
Too much money! Am I the most successful fundraiser in MTS apprenticeship history? Well unlikely... I have however managed to raise extra money above and beyond my wage. In fact more than $2000 extra... this I'm told by MTS minions in high places is pretty rare.
My reason for posting this is two fold.
Firstly I want to again thank all the people who helped and contributed to my MTS apprenticeship over the two years I did it. I am extremely grateful and have been blessed by people's generosity. I am humbled that people believe in my Christian work and abilities.
Secondly I'm faced with the question of what should I do with the money? The Crossroads powers that be have offered the following options.
1. TBT for 2010
2. Jake Bevan and his MTS apprenticeship
3. A Crossroads Data Projector Laptop
4. UFC work by Mikey Lynch
What do you think?
tags christian, ministry, shameless self promotion, update
I'm sick at home but I'd rather be at work
I'm sitting at home on the couch surrounded by tissues, on an self enforced day off work sick. I have some sort of cold thing (just over a week after getting a "flu shot"). I know it's not a "cold shot" but still I hate crappy sick. This is made more frustrating given I really wanted to go to work today. I like my work.
My blogging has been pretty sparse mostly because I'm really busy. On the other hand I've been loving micro blogging on Twitter. I signed up for Twitter a while back and wasn't quite sure what to do with it. The clincher for me was integrating it into a little chat based program for Mac called Adium. Adium quickly and easily allows me instant chat multiplatform.
Most usefully I can update my status from Twitter* then it automatically updates across, MSN, Gmail chat, and of course Facebook. Tweets from people I'm following on Twitter pop up just like normal conversations in chat tab. It's very neat.
I know many of you out there aren't convinced by Twitter and would argue "it's just another thing" and "waste of time". However I think if you can integrate it somehow into the exisiting systems you use, you won't find it hugly intrustive or time wasting. Just some food for thought.
*Twitter support for Adium is still currently in beta and can be found here.
tags linkage, shameless self promotion, thinking
Pimp my ride.
24 May 2009
Thanks to uncle Davo Olivia has the most fully sick pimped out Mountain Buggy ever.
Skulls on pram wheels... are totally awesome. Rush in to Kens Self Cycles in town, ask for Dave, and reserve yours today.
tags pictures, shameless self promotion
Slumdog wolf shirts
22 May 2009
Two awesome things happened to me tonight. First, I finally watched Slumdog Millionaire which is, without a doubt the best film of 2008 (sorry Adam it was much better than the Dark Knight). Second Christine tipped me off about the Three Wolf Moon Tee Shirt phenomenon over on Amazon.com. If you don't think the click is worth it here's the review that started it...
"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women... As I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives...
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark. (more here)
tags linkage, shameless self promotion
Battling...
09 May 2009
To whom it may concern
In February 2009 I bought a Uniden cordless phone as an addition my existing cordless system. In March, having heard nothing I patiently sent the email (below) and was informed of a further delay and that the shipment was expected in April. Having heard nothing in late April I rang Uniden and spoke with a representative on the phone, who informed me that my shipment had been delayed further and was due in May
As you no doubt are aware it is now well into May and still I am yet to see any evidence of my phone ordered and paid for in full back in February.
Frankly I think this is a disgusting way to treat a valued customer. For a shipment to be delayed for this length of time is to my mind unacceptable. It is especially disappointing that I have not been kept up to date as to the expected arrival of my goods. Instead I have had to take the responsibility of chasing you for goods that I paid for. This is just not good enough.
In my years of successful Internet shopping I have never experienced such disappointing service. As it stands at the moment I cannot possibly recommend you, your products or services to friends and acquaintances
I look forward to hearing how I can be adequately compensated for my wasted time and money.
Regards Mike Jolly
tags rant, shameless self promotion
The joy of ebay...
24 April 2009
By the time you read this I will have probably sold Christine's old iBook computer on ebay. It's pretty exciting for me because I've never delved into the dark realms of selling or buying on ebay for myself.
Recently as you may know I got a new computer for work which in turn meant that my faithful black Macbook became Christine's. We put her cute little iBook away purely for setimental reasons... until I suggested we have some fun and put it on ebay. Christine was most agreeable (she's not very attached to "stuff"). I wiped the hard drive, ran all the system tests on it and did a fresh install of the Operational System.
At the moment the bidding stands at $360 crazy stuff. I'll keep you posted.
tags christine, shameless self promotion
Work...
17 April 2009
It's amazing how much can happen in a just a couple of weeks. I have to pinch myself on my way home from work when I think about how lucky I am to have landed my job. To give a bit more information I have an official title something like "Design and Support". What this actually means is I put together brochures, photo boards and various advertising for the houses we sell. My job also has scope to work on improving and implementing some new organizational systems. It's also meant I've been able to get a brand new mabook with Adobe CS3 for my design work and get to indulge my 'analness' which is most satisfying.
In short I really enjoy my job I find it interesting, challenging enjoyable I am very greatful for the opportunity the guys at Petrusma have given me. Pop onto thier website and have look it's pretty schmick.
In other news I bought Christine an iphone... (which I think is a nursing Mum's best friend) after her Mum washed her old one while she was here. Christine loves using it to do her email, facebook and skype while holding Olivia with the other arm. In fact she doesn't really use her computer (my old one) anymore.
And finally K Rudd gave me my 900. Seeing all my dreams have come true at the moment maybe I'll give it away.
tags shameless self promotion, update
In brief...
04 April 2009
- We got robbed. I confronted the guy in our bedroom. He apologised and gave me back the cash he'd taken off my desk. I proceeded to call the police while giving chase but the guy but he got away when he jumped a fence and I went to try and cut him off.
- I've completed two weeks full time work. I have much to write but not enough time to write it down. My new job is working for Petrusma Property. It's a great job and much better suited to me. I do editing, graphic design, IT and other ninja stuff.
- Working full time on top of Jane work and Baby stuff is hard and I'm very tired.
- I'm getting a new computer for my work which is very tasty.
- Christine's parents have gone back to Germany. It was awesome having them here they were a tremendous help.
- Olivia is still a little monkey.
- My life is never boring.
tags shameless self promotion, update
Olivia and the airwalk
29 March 2009
Christine and I along with both sets of parents went down to the Tahune Airwalk last Saturday. It was the first trial run of the Mountain Buggy. I was on my best behavior until the lady at the front desk, glancing at my Mountain Buggy pram, said "If you need some help we can call and get someone to drive you up there."
Part of me wanted to piffle her in the head for a) doubting my awesomeness* and b) doubting the MB. "You won't be able to get up the the stairs." she insisted. Part of me inside wanted to yell "Don't you know I AM MAN! Me have Mountain Buggy!" but I mercifully refrained.
Not only did I push the MB all the way up the stairs but also all the way down. It's a tough pram and Olivia, strapped in tight, loved it. About half way up Christine's Dad spotted a group of grey haired older folk sitting taking a breather. He walked up to them...
"So you guys are all here ready for the bungee jumping class?" he announced, as though he was running the course. I had to run away before I wet myself.
* I probably mean "determination"
tags christine, pictures, shameless self promotion, update
You need new glasses... or why I quit.
28 March 2009
So I got a job... finally. After about two months with no full time job* I was really grateful to these guys for giving me a job as an Opticians Assistant. I'm cautious about saying too much now but I very much enjoyed the short time I worked there.
On Monday afternoon just hours into my new job I received a call from a good friend who was really keen for me to work for his company. A position had just become available. The offer was too good to refuse. It was more suitable to my skills and talents as well as being more money. Once I made my decision (and it took me a while) I went and tendered my resignation as Opticians Assistant. I did however complete the week of training finishing on Friday afternoon.
In one week as an OA I learned heaps. I learned how to fix and pull apart a number of different types of glasses and frames. I learned about different types of lenses, coatings, contact lenses, and sunglasses, frames, transitions… the list goes on. I also had my eyes thoroughly tested (it turned out they are still fine).
Most of all I enjoyed being part of a local Tasmanian business that appreciates and actually cares not just for it’s employees but also it’s customers and patients. I would highly recommend that if you need to get glasses or have your eyes checked (it’s free every 2 years in Oz) then you visit a Total Eyecare store near you. And while it might not be the cheapest place in Hobart to visit, it would be the best… they even bought me a farewell cake. Total Eyecare thank you.
*My job as Resident Fellow at Jane is part time.
tags linkage, shameless self promotion, update
Brett Geeves Blog
19 March 2009
To: info@tascricket.com.auh/t Angus for link to his blog.
Subject: Brett Geeves Blog
Hey guys
I was wondering if you could provide an RSS feed for Brett Geeves very excellent blog. It's a pretty common practice in the web world.
If you don't know what I'm talking about then this is perhaps a request to pass on to your web/internet monkeys. Oh and tell Brett his blog kicks ****.
Cheers Mike Jolly
tags linkage, shameless self promotion
Flowing locks. Shameful but true.
04 March 2009
What: I'm giving away Michael Bolton's Said I Loved You But I Lied from the album The One Thing.
Type: CD Single includes bonus track Soul Provider.
Condition: Used... but very good condition I probably listened to it once. Also contains small picture of Michael Bolton with chest hair (sorry no picture).
Does ANYONE want this CD or should I just break it up and do the world a favor?
5 shamefully bad CDs I've bought
22 February 2009
- Celine Dion - Best of
- Maria Carey – Best of
- Spice Girls – Their first Album
- Michael Bolton – Single
- Avril Lavigne - Album
tags blog, shameless self promotion
Shameless Olivia Promotion
17 February 2009
More pictures over on Facebook.
tags pictures, shameless self promotion, update
Welcome to the world little girl
16 February 2009
Born 7:20am 16th February 2009
tags christine, pictures, shameless self promotion, update
Planet X... in grade 4
12 February 2009
This is a story I wrote in about grade four. I don't think I took it very seriously. Our teacher was Miss Ross. She was a bit older. My brother stuffed gum nuts up the exhaust pipe of her car. I didn't like her. Anyway I digress... on with the story.
It was a windy day on the Planet X. Zinca who had big teeth was on duty to make sure nobody went to the castle. There was a visitor on Planet x who didn't know anything about the planet. he walked up to the house and opened the door. Immediately he was pulled to the ground and killed.
By Michael J
This is obviously the arty illustration to go with the story.
tags pictures, shameless self promotion
My epic Corolla Seca... the story continues
05 February 2009
I've blogged about my car before and people weren't hugely interested but I'll persist anyway. Please know dear reader that I heard you inwardly groan as you read the title of this post. Still with me? Well read on I'll be brief. As reported back here my car looked a little like this...
The insurance company wrote the car off and gave me $4000 dollars and the wreck back... that was in September last year. Much time and effort later Jonny and I finally got it back on the road.
You can see all the rest of the photos of the build over on facebook here. The job isn't completed quite yet. Next week it'll visit the body works then after that the air conditioning will be re gassed. Don't worry I'll keep you posted.
tags cars, linkage, pictures, shameless self promotion
Dear Cricket Australia
28 January 2009
28th January 2009
The Selectors: Australian Cricket Team
I am writing to you to apply for the job playing in the Australian Cricket team.
It probably hasn’t escaped your attention but we aren’t doing too well in test matches or one-day internationals. As I write this we are in grievous danger of loosing our number one team rankling. I firmly believe that I should drafted directly into the Australian Test and One Day squads for the upcoming tour of South Africa. I know this a very risky move but I truly believe that for us to become the great cricketing nation we once were, we must take risks.
Although my recent work experience hasn’t been so much Cricket related I still believe I have what it takes to be a valuable member of the touring team. In my previous lines of work I have garnered a reputation for my sense of humor and prank challenges. In spite of this I have never felt the urge to ring up radio stations while drunk. If I were to get the job I would promise to continue this exemplary behavior.
I have a broad cricketing experience. From a young age I have known and understood the great game of cricket. Similarly I have watched many matches on Television and am very passionate and animated in my support for the Australian team. Relevantly I attended the recent one-day match at the Bellerive Oval in Hobart and watched Australia win a close and exciting game. I enthusiastically participated in chanting “You are a w**ker” at the security personnel as well as the more traditional “Aussie aussie aussie, Oi oi oi”. I'm a passionate guy.
Back in 2000 and 2001 I played cricket for a local team called St Johns. In the two games I played, I only dropped two difficult catches while fielding at fine leg and third man. I was a regular and reliable member of the team and never missed a training session or felt the urge to go fishing instead. While I never scored a run batting, I was involved in a last wicket stand that would put some recent Australian batting performances to shame.
Last year I spent working in a residential college where I played “Backyard Cricket” regularly. I quickly mastered the complex system of rules including; one hand one bounce, ‘sundial’ (don’t ask), tip and run, and ‘foliage’. While not an outstanding player I was an important team member as the ‘lifer’ team defeated the ‘freshers’.
I was asked as recently as last night to play indoor cricket by a friend here at Jane in spite of him not having seen me play. This kind of self-belief is what the selectors need to show for the future of Australian cricket. I am also well versed in the ancient Australian art of sledging. I believe that political correctness has impacted poorly on the Australian teams ability to sledge well. I yearn for a return to the good old days when names like Merv, Boonie and Warnie led the way for the younger players in drinking and sledging.
In short, I believe that I’m the person the Australian team needs. I look forward to speaking with you in person.
Yours Sincerely
Michael Jolly
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