Dear Cricket Australia
28 January 2009
28th January 2009
The Selectors: Australian Cricket Team
I am writing to you to apply for the job playing in the Australian Cricket team.
It probably hasn’t escaped your attention but we aren’t doing too well in test matches or one-day internationals. As I write this we are in grievous danger of loosing our number one team rankling. I firmly believe that I should drafted directly into the Australian Test and One Day squads for the upcoming tour of South Africa. I know this a very risky move but I truly believe that for us to become the great cricketing nation we once were, we must take risks.
Although my recent work experience hasn’t been so much Cricket related I still believe I have what it takes to be a valuable member of the touring team. In my previous lines of work I have garnered a reputation for my sense of humor and prank challenges. In spite of this I have never felt the urge to ring up radio stations while drunk. If I were to get the job I would promise to continue this exemplary behavior.
I have a broad cricketing experience. From a young age I have known and understood the great game of cricket. Similarly I have watched many matches on Television and am very passionate and animated in my support for the Australian team. Relevantly I attended the recent one-day match at the Bellerive Oval in Hobart and watched Australia win a close and exciting game. I enthusiastically participated in chanting “You are a w**ker” at the security personnel as well as the more traditional “Aussie aussie aussie, Oi oi oi”. I'm a passionate guy.
Back in 2000 and 2001 I played cricket for a local team called St Johns. In the two games I played, I only dropped two difficult catches while fielding at fine leg and third man. I was a regular and reliable member of the team and never missed a training session or felt the urge to go fishing instead. While I never scored a run batting, I was involved in a last wicket stand that would put some recent Australian batting performances to shame.
Last year I spent working in a residential college where I played “Backyard Cricket” regularly. I quickly mastered the complex system of rules including; one hand one bounce, ‘sundial’ (don’t ask), tip and run, and ‘foliage’. While not an outstanding player I was an important team member as the ‘lifer’ team defeated the ‘freshers’.
I was asked as recently as last night to play indoor cricket by a friend here at Jane in spite of him not having seen me play. This kind of self-belief is what the selectors need to show for the future of Australian cricket. I am also well versed in the ancient Australian art of sledging. I believe that political correctness has impacted poorly on the Australian teams ability to sledge well. I yearn for a return to the good old days when names like Merv, Boonie and Warnie led the way for the younger players in drinking and sledging.
In short, I believe that I’m the person the Australian team needs. I look forward to speaking with you in person.
Yours Sincerely
Michael Jolly
Posts
I'd give you the job Michael
i loved your blog and would definitely put in a good word for you to the Aussie selectors...
Best cover letter ever? Survey says... yes indeed.
LOL
(word verification: comiqual)
> From a young age I have known and understand the game.
If you don't get an interview, it will be because of this.
@Anonymous. What a shame you didn't leave your email address. Maybe next time. I'll email all my posts to you for editing.
"I firmly believe that I should [be] drafted...".
Ah well, playing cricket is not about grammar. Go Mike! :P
So did you get in?
After tonight's performance at the MCG I'll be waiting on a call this week.