What women want…
25 June 2006
- Godly Christian Leadership. An ability to lead by example in the relationship/family. The degree to which this is important also depends on the individual woman’s Christian maturity.
- Good listener. Girls just like to have people who listen to them. A bloke can’t suggest solutions only listen. Empathy and being able to understand what they are feeling and going through comes into it as well.
- Someone who loves and cherishes them... makes them feel beautiful, respected, loved and encouraged. They need to be sensitive not brutes ... but no whiny babies either. If you aren't sensitive, women get annoyed with you for not picking up on things. A good bloke will notice when they have changed their hair and clothes etc.
- Sense of humor. Not just being able to laugh at a blokes joke but also someone who has a sense of fun and doesn’t take things too seriously. The ability to laugh at things together is also good.
- Hot – Good looks are important. We like to kid ourselves and think they aren’t… but really when we get down to it, they always play a role. Similarly it’s probably not as important to girls as it is to boys but none the less a valid concern.
tags christine, linkage, ministry tips, rant, thinking
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also, communication. someone who is willing to talk things through when they are going wrong and to work it out. eg, NOT like Ryan and Marissa in season 1 and 2 of the OC
your choice of graphics amuses me
Meaty tips!
Mike! That photo is truly off putting!!! Am picking up on some of your wording, but I think that how a Godly man leads will change and adapt according to where their partner is at, but it doesn't change in degree, ie become more or less present. Otherwise, they are just 'filling a void' rather than 'setting the pace', iykwim.
Honestly Mike that picture made me want to throw up. Eeeuh gross.
I didn't even read what you wrote that picture was so offputting!
I'll go back and read it now!
Mike - I'm not sure about 3...I think loving and cherishing is different to feeling beautiful, respected etc...don't get me wrong, I do think women want that too - but I think in the marriage vows, loved and cherished means something else.
Also I agree with 5 - but I think what women find hot is quite different to what men think make a woman look hot....I'm not going to elaborate on that - someone else can if they choose to.
The picture can be removed if people would like...?
For the record the pciture made me want to throw up... that's why I put it there :) But back to the comments.
For the record the pciture made me want to throw up... that's why I put it there :)
You make me laugh Mike.
Good list Mike - Well naunced too. :)
I'd like to add (if it's not already implicitly covered in your list Mike), women want a man who isn't lazy (because this shows selfishness and fear), instead a man who is ambitious (but not in a greedy, careless way).
As a Christian struggling with homosexuality, I found the picture you put on this post to be very unhelpful...
see Mike ... i told you ... lethargic men need not apply.
picture removed :)
That's a good point Shiloh - my sister used to say that women want "a man with a plan".
Mike the "get a girl expert". You know how there are those "create a small group" encouragements at Crossroads at the moment? I think you should run a group titled "Mike's tips on what women want" or something of the type. It could really liven things up.
lol Sherrin. You are naughty.
I don't understand what other women want but i would say:
wisdom. I suppose men would want that in women too. Wisdom is worth far more than gold or silver or saffron, or truffles...
Another: thoughtfulness, thoughtful guys are impressive. I suppose that's sort of linked with sensitivity.
Also the french guy at the college i stayed in at uni could make bread - this really impressed lots of girls. :)
I think men and women both completely over rate the value of looks. God looks at the heart.
18 comments, is that a blogging record?
Word Yvonne! :)
Lol! Yvonne.
I like your extra point about wisdom and thoughtfulness. Bread baking certaintly doesn't hurt...
Being sensitive is nice, but a guy who thinks ahead to do things that will help take the load off or just show care, that's something else entirely.
Wisdom is important too. I suppose part of that with younger men will ( and I guess older too) is to realise when they will need to seek godly guidance themsleves from wiser, more experienced indiduals.
I'm gonna have to plead the 5th...
Craig,
yes looks are important, too, I won't pretend their not. But as someone mentioned on the companion post about what men want, attraction is more important than perfection...
....erm...you probably already have it but I can't resist adding to your comment count - affection
I just watched Casanova and learnt some really important things about love and relationships. ;)
In the words of Jacobi Casanova "Be the flame, not the moth."
Hmmm.
yes looks are important, too, I won't pretend their not.
No - I wasn't thinking that at all! I think I'm far less concerned about "the look" than others on this thread. Must be an age thing... ;-)
I was actually thinking yes, women want someone sensitive, but maybe not too sensitive. I've heard a number of women say they want a guy who "wont put up with their crap."
It is pretty repulsive when you see some guy totally indulging some spoilt brat chick.
some spoilt brat chick ?? Not very nice words Craig.
One of my favourite parts of the movie, Emma, was when Knightley told Emma off - 'badly done Emma' - and he said he tells her these things because he is being a true friend.
I don't know that women necessarily like this, I certainly don't enjoy being rebuked - but I think most women really look up to a man that will say the hard word out of love - because that's someone who cares for her godliness....that's appealing.....(AB is good at rebuking me - always has been - I'm not so good at taking it though - but i appreciate him doing it)
some spoilt brat chick ?? Not very nice words Craig.
Ok, how "unpleasantly immature female" - better?
I absoloutly love that bit in Emma! You're right Ruth, it's nice when a guy cares about a girl so much he is willing to risk her anger by appropriatly rebuking her.
There is also something attractive about a guy who has a certain amount of self-assurance (but not arrogance!).
but I think most women really look up to a man that will say the hard word out of love
Totally my point - I just expressed it more crudely...
of course! self-assurance! and a man who can say the hard word out of love! confidence not in an arrogant way in a man is a huge plus.
I went out with a guy for a while, who was constantly seeking my attention, my approval, checking if I was looking his way, laughing at his jokes. drove me nuts. I might have intentionally refrained from laughing just to spite him.
Totally my point - I just expressed it more crudely...
Yes - I was agreeing, just showing that you can say it more nicely - without it being a negative to women, nor a negative to men.
I like 'chick', just not the 'spoilt brat' part of the expression - and I don't think you need to write 'unpleasantly immature' either.
who was constantly seeking my attention, my approval, checking if I was looking his way
In my experience, this is a huge turn-off for girls.
Confidence is *very* attractive - in either gender.
and I don't think you need to write 'unpleasantly immature' either.
I wasn't saying all girls are like that. But there is a certain type that does exist. I don't know its helpful to ignore that reality.
I don't know if you got that far on BattleStar Galactica, but I'm thinking of the Colonel's wife, who showed up near the end. Horrible.
i have no idea what women want or men for that matter (what this is originally based on is a secular article i'm sure). What I want is:
Someone who loves God
Someone who loves me
Someone willing to be a partner
Someone who moves me (not in a furniture sense)
Someone trustworthy
Looks are secondary, everyone is attractive in some way. For some it's obvious in their appearance, for others it's deeper down. At the end of the day, beauty fades.
I went out with a guy for a while, who was constantly seeking my attention, my approval, checking if I was looking his way, laughing at his jokes. drove me nuts. I might have intentionally refrained from laughing just to spite him.
LOL!
Nice post raymondo...
I agree with Onerayhill, "At the end of the day, beauty fades". Some movie stars get married and there models, and they cant even stay together.So I think in the end looks is not what keeps a realationship together.
Yes, it would be infuriating to be going out with someone who is trying too hard to impress you! If he had to try and agree with you on everything, it would be annoying.
This is interesting stuff to read. Good for my novel.
That's a really nice list Ray.
Bron, I'm surprised that you like the OC. I'm not a fan of that progy.
Have just commented on the blog about what men want about why I love my gal :)
Self-assurance is very important. Sensitivty without self-assurance can make you feel like YOU are their light and salvation, which is very unhealthy.
Its also easier to get to know someone who is self-confident, hence even to consider dating them is possible..
Yes, Calico/amy, affection. Attraction and affection are equally important. I once went out with a guy who said that
"if we got married, I'd want to have my own separate bed".
WHAT????!!!!
Someone who actually is affectionate for you and wants to be in your presence is pretty important!
"if we got married, I'd want to have my own separate bed".
ROFL!!!!!!
That is the bizarest thing I've ever heard!
I agree - that is mega weird.
Well there seams to be a fair bit of interest on this. I may have to run a siminar detailing all my tricks like career planning, followed by a workshop on making bread, cooking, personal grooming, and buying the right clothes.
all very well to think you know what women want, but can you be that person?
Craigs, not to split hairs, but I don't believe Australians can plead the 5th.
Ah, but the 5th is based on a common law precedent, the name of which I cannot recall...
Craigs, not to split hairs, but I don't believe Australians can plead the 5th.
What are you talking about!?! We're HOT!
;)
hee hee!
"Badly done, Emma."
I think that's when I fell for Mr. Knightly ... melted, more like it.