Oh men Lead... Please!
05 August 2006
Often as Christian blokes we get caught up in arguments about what a Christian woman's role should be. I think most of these arguments miss the point. It's my belief that it is a man's duty to lead and teach and take initiative in male female interaction generally.*
Unfortunately we very often fail at this. Why is it that girls are the ones who are first to share and want to take initiative in a Bible study? Why is it that so often women eagerly pray in public and small group contexts while the men cower in silence? Why is it that women are always keen to preach while men we cringe in the corner? Why are we so often silent?
Here are some excuses I have heard
- "I can't” or “I don’t want to". This is an unacceptable excuse and amounts to laziness. We must repent. If we are men we lead.
- "I don't feel like it". This is a pathetic excuse; Don Carson rightly points out that our obligations as Christians to lead [my words] are never diminished by how we feel. "This is to assign what I feel or do… determine my obligations. This is in effect is to say I am my own God."
- "I can't do it or I'm not capable or gifted". While I personally have some sympathy with this view it really isn't a particularly good excuse. The fact that you are a bloke means that leading is in your blood so to speak. That's the way God made you.
- "It's not acceptable in our culture". Society has seemingly over-corrected against the patriarchal framework of yesteryear so that now men who lead are seen as egotistical and arrogant. The Bible's picture of leadership is never like this (See 1 Corinthians 11 Ephesians 5.)
Most of all we let down God who in his created order ordained that men should take initiative and responsibility for leadership in his world. Being a bloke means being proactive in leading. We should be the first to put our hand up in church when someone is asked to pray. We should be the ones taking the initiative in leading small groups and
asking the questions. We should be the ones seeking to eagerly lead the church.**
supportMIKE wants you to lead!
* (I'm not going to outline or discuss Biblically what a woman's role should be here.)
** (One important caveat. I don't think we should do this because women are incapable leaders, are unable to take initiative or even lesser citizen in God's Kingdom. Rather I am convinced that in God's created order men should lead).
tags christian, ministry tips, rant, thinking
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Notice that all your examples of women being first cab of of the rank and taking initiative are about speaking. It doesn't surprise me that women like to speak first and will do so whether men speak or not. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but it's fuel for the fire.
Some good points there Mike. We must keep encouraging guys to take the initiative...
Thanks Mike. Tonight at PW06 Nathaniel preached on 1 Peter 3v1-7, so I was already thinking about this when I read your post.
I think that too often we define the role of women but neglect to tell the guys how important it is for them to step up. It's something that, as blokes, we need to address.
Rather than so much being about speaking per say. I think that it's more about men taking initiative in leading. In other words actively looking for the oppotunity. That of course might inlclude them speaking first.
Excelent post Mike. Stay true to the Bible and what it says.
Well one.
This comes from PG and I
I wonder if one excuse is also, "I don't care, it doesn't matter to me if a woman or a man leads." Could be laziness but could be general apathy...
Awesome post Mike!
Jeltzz, I think it is important that men speak first, since a good part of leadership is done with words.
I wonder if one excuse is also, "I don't care, it doesn't matter to me if a woman or a man leads." Could be laziness but could be general apathy...
Orrr it could be biblical...
(hee - sorry Mike, I know you don't want to get into the theology of it, I just couldn't help myself)
Interesting thoughts Shaun. While my view of women preaching is conservative I think I'd still encourage men to lead take intiaitve even if this wasn't the case. What do you think?
Now that I've commented Amy is allowed to comment. ;)
--Luke
lol! luke
rofl Luke!!!
Interesting thoughts Shaun. While my view of women preaching is conservative I think I'd still encourage men to lead take intiaitve even if this wasn't the case. What do you think?
I certainly don't think an egalitarian view of leadership equates to the men slacking off, so in a certain sense, yes I'd still be wanting to kick men up the butt and take initiative in any case. However, I'd apply the same to women.
Also, while it's something that does perhaps need a rebalancing due to some not being leaders when they should be, we do have to be careful of gift transferrance, something very common in Christian circles. When someone has a certain gift and they can see how well it works, it's very easy for them to automatically think everyone should be doing the same thing. This is often not the case, and the whole point of the Body of Christ analogy.
Bravo. Standing ovation for that one, mike.
Thanks for these thoughts Mike - you´re right in that I seem to hear a whole lot about how women should submit to the leadership of men (to which I agree), but less talk and challenge to the men to be willing to lead even if/when they feel unable or unwilling. This would help us women out and make our position more enjoyable and less frustrating!
Amen Mike!
phil's sister, shellyanne
Hey Mike,
thanks for your thoughts and encouragement for men to step up, lead and take initiative. I'd like to add that this attitude should also apply to relationships, i.e. if you like a Christian girl, be forward, upright, lead and ask her out instead of toying around and worrying about saving face!
I was wondering though how you would think through your advice with the biblical idea of leadership as servanthood.
Jesus, the ultimate "male" leader if you like, led both men and women by washing their feet. While speaking out is important, I think it is equally important for men (and women) to learn how to lead with humility and service, thinking of others as better than yourself. While men should take initiative, perhaps it is even more important that they take initiative with this godly attitude. After all, I would sooner call a servant hearted man the better leader than an outspoken one.
What do you think?
Shaun your point about gift transferrance is a good one. I know that in the past I have been guilty of that particualr sin. There are many gifts which help the body grow.
Having said that though I still think that the fact you are a guy means that you should try to lead as part of your God given role as a male.
Soph your point is a very good one. This is especially so when it comes to relationships and asking girls out.
I'll be blogging some of my own experiences as a leader including my own struggles to do this well soon. Stay tunned :)
look forward to hearing those thoughts, mike!
Solid post there Mike...Yeah I agree sometimes the Mens role to lead is done in a pretty low way.
Right on, brother. As one who could easily 'take over', I often have to keep my mouth shut. I like to do as much as I can to encourage guys to do stuff, but this borders on me taking the initiative.
Oh, by the way, I'd love it if you read my blog: tracex-trace.blogspot.com
I don't normally do this, but I've posted a reply here.
Ok, well it is a shame you don't set out a biblical standpoint, because this is a misreading. The only men I know who want women to be submissive are those damaged souls who are bullies.
Thanks for your thoughts, Anon. I'd be interested to understand your view on what the correct reading of passages mandating male leadership is. Please be specific in your commenting before you rebuke a brother.